It's the one question I've been getting quite consistently as of late, and I've started thinking about it quite abit. Especially since I've had my fair share of awkward encounters during my time spent at Zouk.
I'm just gonna put in my two cents as to the "tips" I'd give to my bros and guy-friends out there who're really curious as to how this entire "hooking up" vs "asking them out" works.
In the first place, "hooking up" and "asking out" are two different things. As girls, we should learn to tell the difference between both and in both situations to avoid a whole bunch of emotional complications.
It also links to how a guy actually even begins to approach a girl to "get things started".
And it's important to note that:
It depends on the situation.
Photo credits: (https://mytripthisyear.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/clubs.jpg)
I'm not sure if it applies to all girls, but in my opinion, if you're in a club and a guy comes up to you and does his thing, you kinda shoulda know that it's a 'hook-up' already.
And if you don't, then, you gotta pray.
I'm just saying.
Guys reading this, don't hate me if the above statement isn't true and you're looking for a life partner in a club. (DO YOU SEE HOW WEIRD THAT SOUNDS?!?!)
Anyhow moving on, here's a few things that you probably should avoid.
1. Respect a girl's personal space. Yes, I know you're high and all that, but sheesh, self-control won't harm you. By that, I mean, don't just go ahead and grab her in places that shouldn't be grabbed. You know what I mean. That includes the waist btw.
2. Forcing yourself on someone who's not interested and who has already told you that she's not interested is not gonna help your chances either.
3. Don't wait too long to approach a girl if you're interested. If you're interested, chances are, someone else is interested in her too. Grab (not literally) and go like it's the Great Singapore Sale.
4. Winking in a crowded club doesn't do you any good either. Especially on the dance floor. Like are the lights too damn bright for you or what?
Basically, I think the first two are the main things that are really a turn off? Note, I'm just generalizing based on my own personal experience, so, if you like the whole grabbing and forcing thing (as a girl), then go ahead.
There are other options:
- Just go up to the girl, and ask if you can buy her a drink. Yes, that works. As simple as it sounds.
- If you think she's attractive, then YOU walk up to her and tell her that. Don't say this "Hey, my friend thinks you're cute." Um, so where's your friend? And why are you here? I understand the whole wingman thing, but it's more sincere if you're the one asking. You get me?
- Ask if the girl wants to dance (if she's not on the dance floor la. If she's high and in the whole "put my hands in the air" mode, don't be cray and ask her if she want's to dance with you)
- Stupid or lame pickup lines SOMETIMES work. No guarantees. But if she laughs, you're good to go.
And it all sounds pretty simple, but I think the most sincere approaches get the most results? I think it's the hopeless romantic in me that's talking.
If she agrees, and she's already hanging out with you:
Make small talk.
Chances are, if she can converse with you, she'll trust you enough to take her wherever. ;) ;) ;)
If all else fails,
Here's another article I came across that I more or less agree to: http://www.thesmartlocal.com/read/pick-up-girls-sg
If anyone has had any unusual, positive or completely creepy experiences with picking up (or getting picked up) girls/guys/anyone and you want to share, just leave a comment below!! I'd love to hear your interesting story ;)
Even better if you've got advice to add; all the more welcome.